too much, too little

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too much, too little

(excessive syllables) 　jiamari　字余り
(insufficient syllables)　jitarazu　字足らず


Traditional Japanese haiku come in a count of 5 7 5.

There are some exceptions, that is too much or too little, too many or too few.

In one of the last lessons of NHK HAIKU one sensei explained that in line 1 or 3, this could be covered when reading the haiku out loud. Reciting a haiku is usually done in a loud voice, reading it two times.
There is quite a special "HAIKU intonation" when reciting poetry.

So when reciting the haiku you can speed up with reading the first or last line, but that it could hardly done with line two in the middle.

The middle line with seven beats is like the obi of a good kimono, it must fit.
For the top and bottom five, we can change the number of beats.

In the lesson of the next week, another sensei (more associated with "Modern Japanese Haiku") explained that you could also have a different amount than 7 in line two in the middle and cover this with the speed of reciting.


This is an interesting problem in Japanese,
but
how are we going to translate this properly into another language?


Your suggestions are most welcome !

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go shichi go

The first and last line of a haiku usually have five beats.

jiamari, too many sylables, in the first line leads to pronouncing the first line just a bit faster to adjust it to five beats. This might add to the meaning of a haiku, giving it some urgency, presence and freshness.

jitarazu, missing sylables, should on the other hand not be read by lengthening the existing beats, but inserting a break beat at a suitable point.
Most Japanese nouns with only one sylable, like 湯、手、火 can be read with a lengthening break.

for example (this is only possible to understand in Japanese)

手を付いて　te o tsuite ... te tsuite 手ついて reading as five beats like

te (break) tsuite


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Matsuo Basho sometimes deviates from the pattern 5 7 5.
He told his disciples:

"Even if you have three or four extra syllables, or as many as five or seven, you need not worry as long as it sounds right. But if even one syllable is stale in your mouth, give it all of your attention."

Matsuo Bashō, Narrow Road to the Interior and Other Writings.
Trans. Sam Hamill.
source :　Creative Writing Course


This list below the last update of Basho of this page (June 2013).
The new collection is now here


jiamari　字余り excessive syllables
jitarazu　字足らず insufficient syllables 
. Matsuo Basho - Topics 松尾芭蕉 - Archives of the WKD .



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5 7 7
摘みけんや茶を凩の秋とも知らで
tsumiken ya / cha o kogarashi no / aki to mo shirade


5 8 5
草枕犬も時雨るるか夜の声 / 草枕犬も時雨ゝかよるのこゑ / kusa makura
. kusamakura inu mo shigururu ka yoru no koe .


5 9 5
枯朶に烏のとまりけり秋の暮
kare eda ni karasu no tomari keri aki no kure

on a withered branch
a crow has settled down and perched -
autumn dusk

. Autumn dusk (aki no kure 秋の暮) .



5 10 5
手にとらば消ん涙ぞ熱き秋の霜
te ni toraba kien namida zo atsuki aki no shimo


5 11 5
盛りぢや花に坐浮法師ぬめり妻　
sakari ja hana ni / sozoro ukibōshi / numeri zuma



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- - - - - 6 7 5 - - - - -

霰聞くやこの身はもとの古柏
. arare kiku ya kono mi wa moto no furugashiwa .


富士の風や扇にのせて江戸土産
. Fuji no kaze ya oogi ni nosete Edo miyage .


花にあかぬ嘆きやこちの歌袋
. hana ni akanu nageki ya kochi no utabukuro .


雲とへだつ友かや雁の生き別れ
. kumo to hedatsu tomo ka ya kari no ikiwakare .


花を宿に始め終りや二十日ほど
. hana no yado ni hajime owari ya tooka hodo .


又やたぐひ長良の川の鮎膾
. mata ya tagui Nagara no kawa no ayu namasu .


起きよ起きよ我が友にせん寝る胡蝶
. okiyo okiyo waga tomo ni sen neru kochoo .


旅に飽きてけふ幾日やら秋の風　
. tabi ni akite kyoo ikuka yara aki no kaze .

. tsuki zo shirube konata e irase tabi no yado .

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6 7 6
秋来にけり耳を訪ねて枕の風　
. aki ki ni keri mimi o tazunete makura no kaze .

6 7 6
きみ火をたけよき物見せん雪丸げ
. kimi hi o take yoki mono misen yukimaruge / yuki maruge .

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6 8 5
いづく時雨傘を手に提げて帰る僧
. izuku shigure kasa o te ni sagete kaeru soo .



6 8 5
躑躅生けてその陰に干鱈割く女
. tsutsuji ikete sono kage ni hidara saku onna .
azaleas, a woman tearing dried cod fish

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7 5 8
山吹の露菜の花のかこち顔なるや
. yamabuki no tsuyu na no hana no kakochigao naru ya .


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7 7 5

御廟年経て忍は何をしのぶ草
. gobyoo toshihete shinobu wa nani o shinobugusa .

命二つの中に生きたる桜かな
. inochi futatsu no naka ni ikitaru sakura kana .

西か東かまづ早苗にも風の音
. nishi ka higashi ka mazu sanae ni mo kaze no oto .


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8 7 5
闇夜狐下這ふ玉真桑
yami no yo to sugoku / kitsune shitabau / tama makuwa


8 7 5
芭蕉野分して盥に雨を聞夜哉
. bashoo nowaki shite tarai ni ame o kiku yo kana .


8 7 5
芋洗ふ女西行ならば歌よまむ
. imo arau onna Saigyoo naraba uta yoman .



8 8 5
牡丹蘂深く分出る蜂の名残哉
. botan shibe fukaku wake-izuru hachi no nagori kana .


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9 7 5
笑ふべし泣くべしわが朝顔の凋む時
. warau beshi naku beshi waga asagao no shibomu toki .



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10 7 5
艪の声波を打って腸凍る夜や涙
ro no koe nami o utte harawata koru yo ya namida

the sound of oars beating the waves
brings my bowls to a chill
in the evening - tears

(The kireji YA is in the middle of the last section of 5).
MORE
Hokku about tears by
. Matsuo Basho 松尾芭蕉 - Archives of the WKD .


more TBA.
. Matsuo Basho - Topics 松尾芭蕉 - Archives of the WKD .

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Some more reference

a. Examples slightly breaking the rule (hacho　破調　hachoo)
They have been seen since before Basho's time.

Examples completely ignoring, or denying the rule

Rhythm, stress, sound, flow, rhyming
Susumu Takiguchi, WHR


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. Matsuo Basho 松尾芭蕉 - Archives of the WKD .
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